"Calling it Quits".....Not the title you'd expect from a homeschooling parent...... UNLESS you, yourself ARE a homeschooling parent.
So, my family has been homeschooling for about a year now, but this school year I decided to go my own way, shake it up and design my own curriculum (woohoo). I felt that this would be a good idea for more freedom and flexibility. Previously we did one of the online schools and I felt limited in what my child was learning, how fast he could advance, and I also felt like a child because I had to record hours, check in, etc. I'm too much of a rebel for all that (haha).
Well, I guess I should have considered all the work it would take to be that "homeschool rebel parent". I don't have enough free spirit in me to "unschool" but too much to follow one particular homeschool method. So we have been putt-putting along this year, with much trial and error.
Today, I was a little (a lot) behind on my lesson planning and pretty much trying to wing it all while planning activities for later. Combining this with stress and children who thought it would be cool to gang up on each other and fight was a recipe for "exploding mommy" Not only did I explode but I imploded. I went off on the kiddos in the midst of one of their many fights today. Then left the room but not before giving the age old threat of "you just wait until your daddy gets home" (boom....explosion). After a few minutes, I calmed down then immediately began beating myself up over my own behavior (boom...implosion).
I had to go back to the kids and apologize and explain that mommy is just a little tired and overreacted to their behavior.
After this whole ordeal I sat back and thought "why am I doing this to myself"? I could put these kids in school and have the whole day to myself. I could be watching soaps and eating bon bons just like I thought the stay home moms did when I was younger!" Basically I began to question the whole homeschool situation because of a (really) bad day.
But I had to remember that this is new to all of us. My kids are still very young and prone to bad spouts simply because they haven't got the hang of the whole "civilized behavior" thing and me exploding isn't a good example.
Then I went to the last place that should have been the first, I turned to Jesus (this could be a whole other blog by itself). After all He is the one who gave me this crazy homeschool idea in the first place. He began to bring to my remembrance some of the more popular bible stories such as Noah and the Ark and Moses. Now, in no way am I saying that my homeschooling will make an impact on the world like these two stories. HOWEVER, God gave them something to do and it wasn't easy. They struggled, wanted to give up but they pressed on. People didn't understand them or why they were pursuing their various missions, but yet they pushed on. Raising 3 children and homeschooling may not be as difficult as building an ark or freeing a people from an oppressive nation, but maybe it is...... Either way, giving up is so much worse than pressing forth.
But what I think it boils down to is that I am new to the homeschool scene and it will take time to get it right, to get my #homeschoolflow. And because He gave me the idea, and like every other area in a Christian's walk, God needs to be the center of everything we do, especially our struggles.
So even though I am stressed, tired, discouraged at times, I will press forward with this thing, believeing that God is going to do something great in my children through this education at home.
Another day..... another adventure.......
